Send in the clowns

Let me preface this post with saying that I hate change and anything that has to do with change. So that being said I am less than enthralled with my new job.

I am working for a place called Sports Blast (no for real) and am essentially just their bitch. I pick up cigarette butts while simultaneously meeting with a team of web designers to help create a new limo website for them. It is insane and I hate it.

I have had a long running feud with physical exertion for quite some time. Plus I hate gyms. I am wary of them. They are full of people who are convinced its your fault you are not as good at --- as you could be. Maybe they have a point but I don't want to hear about it from someone whose abs have valleys and whose arms are bigger than my thighs. I have been easing myself into the athletic world the way one slowly eases oneself into a freezing cold bathtub filled with poisonous water snakes... so really slowly.

But after getting this job some rude bitch pushed me in the water, bruised me up and is currently allowing me to get bitten repeatedly. I am surrounded by people who enjoy working out and view it as a religion BUT they eat take out everyday. WTF. It makes no sense.

My general manager runs security, calls everyone 'Brother' and swears by the healing powers of PowerAde. The owner is.... I don't even know how to describe him except by saying demanding. He has a German Sheppard named Arkon who wants to kill me and I am perpetually covered in dog hair. Which is awkward because my work uniform now consists of black everything, yoga pants, STAFF t-shirt and tennis shoes. Yes tennis shoes. I basically wear my pajamas to work. It is awful. I did not even own a pair of tennis shoes until I discovered my Y and when I tried to sneak in wearing my cute leopard flats I was fussed at. Something about future back problems, blah. blah. blah.

Anyways I am trying to be open minded but this is just not going to work long term. This will do literally nothing to further any career I might entertain entering in the future. I just keep telling myself its just a paycheck. I minored in leadership studies I know the difference between working for an ideal and working for money. This one is totally money.

Anyways, sorry to be so negative its just I hate winter, I can't tan anymore and I am v. unhappy in my line of work. I need something to look forward to and right now all I got is the fact that I don't have to work any birthday parties this weekend. That's right they hold birthday parties there too. With bouncy castles, loads of small children and dodgeballs. I hate my life. Ugh.

*le sigh* Needless to say life right now is not a Cabaret. I need some Liza stat.

Or else I feel the steroid driven snakes might drown me in a big pool of Vitamin Water, which would be terribly tragic but not altogether unexpected. Maybe if it were the 50 cent one I could embrace it. Probably not though.

I will keep you posted. It has to get better right? Right?!?